“I didn’t get much done that day,” said my sister.
She was describing a day in which she went to church, paid a visit to her in-laws and drove her brother-in-law for an hour so he could catch his train home.
She meant that she didn’t get much crossed off her to do list. She wasn’t giving herself credit for being and connecting with other people.
I often value getting things done over love. I want to get away from this pattern.
I judge myself for making the tasks-over-people choice and for loving others clumsily or incompletely. This judging shows that I don’t much love myself.
Suppose there is no distance between me and you. Suppose we are so connected that the divisions between us are illusions.
Then love becomes diving in the pool of connection.
If you are an adept, you stay there all the time, not coming up for the air of separation. You are immersed in love.
Honestly, I forget about love. I chase after accomplishment, imagining that if I am impressive enough, I will be worthy of love, worthy both to give it and receive it.
I need not speak of earning. Love is without requirements. Trying to earn love, I build higher and higher diving platforms, attempting to get into the pool in which we dwell.
My sister was already swimming in the pool, with her church group and her relatives. No to do list necessary. I, too, am here in the pool. I just need to slow down and feel the water, remembering that we are one.