Last month, I imagined a nest of connections. This month, I decided to paint a nest. After all, eggs are fragile things and need to be protected. I found this webpage, with a photo of a rufeous hummingbird nest. (Here is a video of a hummingbird building a nest.) Because of their small size, hummingbirds seem like good ambassadors of weakness (even though they are strong and fast.)
This painting was definitely a challenge in weakness. I’ve been having a hard time being able to paint. The physical position I need to take in order to paint (with my wheelchair seat parallel to the floor) has been getting increasingly uncomfortable. That makes wielding the brush difficult.
I started this painting happily enough, but could only work on it in short bursts which left me tired and disheartened. There were times I thought to myself “I can’t paint anymore.” That’s a thought that generates huge waves of grief.
Using the smaller, more lightweight, brush was easiest and I did manage to finish, but I’m not sure where I go from here. My explorations this month encourage me to treat myself kindly, whatever happens.