by Kate | Jul 19, 2016 | Chronic healing, chronic illness, Disability, kind promises, Transformation
“I can’t even watch the news,” she said. “It’s too upsetting. I have to protect myself.” The voice was one of a woman with chronic illness. She was concerned that the upset she felt at the state of the world might affect her health. I understand her concern. Those of...
by Kate | May 25, 2016 | Chronic healing, chronic illness, Disability, kind promises, monsters, Vulnerability, Weakness
My friend Al, who has multiple sclerosis, went to his physician with some troublesome new symptoms. “Am I feeling this way because I’m aging or is it the MS?” he asked. “Yes,” replied the doctor. Lately, my disability due to MS has increased significantly. I need help...
by Kate | Feb 16, 2016 | chronic illness, Disability, kind promises, Surrender
I’ve been reading what Pema Chödrön has to say about patience. Lately, I’ve been struggling with physical pain and a dark mood. I want them both to go away right now. How quickly I move from discomfort to aggression! What if, instead, I bring curiosity to my...
by Kate | Feb 2, 2016 | Chronic healing, chronic illness, Disability, joy, kind promises
The other day I was painting an experiment: “Make marks in joyful colors with joyful motion; combine them into one piece of art.” Before I started painting, I imagined the motions I used to make with my paintbrush when I was happy. I could envision the swoop and...
by Kate | Jan 22, 2016 | chronic illness, Disability, joy
I just came from getting some x-rays. (They replaced my baclofen pump a week ago and wanted to check their work.) The appointment was with the surgeon, who wanted to make sure my incision is healing well. Getting x-rays was a surprise. For someone in a power...
by Kate | Nov 24, 2015 | chronic illness, Disability, Forgiveness, Uncategorized
Home from the hospital, Big Emotions assail me. I cannot do what I once did. I grieve the loss. I rage over the loss. What to do with this grief? What to do with this rage? When I was young, I would have pretended they didn’t exist. I was raised to believe a sign of...