I often shoulder away my experience in this moment, hanging onto some notion of perfection. This should not be happening now. Instead, this moment should look like something else ā€“ something brighter, shinier, more perfect. Clinging to my expectations of perfection, I miss the gift that is here before me.

I do the same thing when it comes to my relationships. If only you were more like that or if we, together, were more adventurous, exciting, loving, and so on, then our lives would be so much better. Lost in imagining what might be, I miss the miracle that is you.

Iā€™m exaggerating, but only a bit.

Instead, I want to greet each moment ā€“ each person ā€“ with tender curiosity, open to what is textured and lovely. (I chose my adjectives carefully there. Every moment is not comfortable, but there is always something beautiful about it.)

I have an image of a hand dropping a pebble on the ground. Just like this: open the fingers and let go of the weight of the expectations I bring to this moment. Let go of judgments about good and bad, comfortable and uncomfortable. Let it all go and meet this moment heart open, empty handed.